Thicker Than Blood
by snapple79
Summary: Takes place immediately after 4x09. How does Chris work through his feelings once he finds out Christian isn't his.


I had so much fun writing about Chris in S3 when he found out about Christian, I thought I'd try it again now that Chris realizes the boy isn't his son. I love writing about Chris, so if anyone has any Chris-related prompts, feel free to share! Hope you all enjoy this one-shot! Let me know what you think with a review. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Rookie Blue.

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**Thicker Than Blood**

"_I wanted him to be yours," Denise admitted._

"_That's not good enough. Everything that happened today, in my heart, he still feels like my son," Chris told her. "I look at him and I see my son. Mine. What am I supposed to do now?_

Chris stormed out of the apartment, tugging on his jacket as he made it outside. He walked and walked without a destination until he found himself at the park Andy took Christian to earlier that day. He sat down on a bench across the street as his eyes glanced over the remnants of crime scene tape left tied to the metal fence, and glass strewn like confetti next to the curb that came from the broken window of his truck.

He let out a breath and buried his hands in the pockets of his jacket seeking warmth. He watched a puff of warm air that left his mouth dissipate into the cold night air. He didn't blame Andy for what happened. Yes, he'd been furious with her at first, but she was one of his closest friends and he couldn't hold a grudge. Especially after finding out it was Gene Mackenzie, Christian's biological father, who kidnapped the boy, it was more clear than ever that it could have happened anywhere and with anyone. Gene was on a mission to get his son back no matter what.

Now that they had Christian back, had his son back, Chris didn't know what to do. He didn't just love Christian like he was his own son, in his mind he _was_ his son. It didn't matter if he wasn't flesh and blood; he'd immediately felt the connection and unconditional love shared by a father and son.

Chris thought about what he'd said to Denise less than an hour ago. He really didn't know what he was supposed to do. He had no legal rights to Christian, but the man who did was going to jail. And if Chris continued to play the role of Christian's father, he'd be lying to the young boy. It was a mess, a complete and utter mess.

He sat there pondering what he should do and what he wanted to do. He never had unconditional love growing up. He knew his mother loved him, but there were moments when it felt like she only loved him if he did or didn't do something. She'd never let his father, or any other man, get close enough to provide that unconditional love of a parent. He found something close when he met his friends - his family - at 15 Division; Dov, Gail, Andy, Traci, and even Oliver, Sam, Noelle and Frank at times.

But the first moment of true unconditional love that Chris felt in his life was when Christian hugged him for the first time. That day Denise brought him to Toronto. He'd been about to put his new-found son to bed when the little boy wrapped his tiny arms around Chris' neck and hugged him. It was that moment when he truly and completely fell in love with the boy he thought was his son. Nothing would ever change that.

He thought back to the first time he'd brought Christian to this very park, just days after Denise had dropped her bomb.

_He needed to get away from Denise, to stop being angry at her, and he wanted to get to know his son. So, he decided to bring him to the park not too far from the apartment. He'd driven by it a million times and knew there was a playground there._

_Christian had run right over to the swings, so Chris happily lifted him into one and started pushing. "You having fun, buddy?"_

_Giggles and "up, up" were the little boy's only response, urging Chris to push him higher. Chris smiled and his heart felt so full watching his son._

_When he eventually tired of the swings, Christian pointed to the slide. Chris followed him over to the plastic structure and helped him climb up the small ladder. Chris couldn't help but grin as a squeal of delight came from his son's mouth as he went down the slide. He couldn't wait to do it over and over again. Surrounded by a handful of other children his age, Chris could tell Christian was having the time of his life._

_After a while, Christian left the slide to take turns on some of the other playground equipment before ending up back at the swings. "You wanna swing again, Christian?" His son's head bounced up and down quickly until Chris picked him up. He pressed a kiss to his cheek before placing him in the swing._

_Pushing his son, Chris took a look around the park. He saw mothers and fathers playing with their children and watching them from the sidelines. He was now one of them. He was pushing his son. _His son._ He wasn't sure he'd ever get used to that, but at this moment, he wanted nothing else in the world than to be here at the park with his son._

_When Chris noticed his son's head drooping down as he fell asleep from all the excitement, he knew it was time to head home._

The park was quiet now; the sound of children's laughter long gone because of how late it was. Chris wondered if Christian would ever want to come back to this park after the trauma of the day.

Chris didn't know what he was going to do about this whole mess, but one thing he knew was that he wasn't willing to give up the unconditional love he felt for Christian. He wasn't in love with Denise and had been struggling to see their future together since she came back into his life. He may not want to stay in a relationship with her, but he still wanted to be a father for Christian. He just wasn't sure how to make it all work.

What Chris did know was that he loved the little boy with his whole being. It didn't matter if they weren't blood. Sharing genes didn't make a father. Chris thought back to the man he shared genes with that was never part of his life; the man that never took an interest in him. Christian's dad may _want _to get to know him, but it was going to be tough from jail. However, Chris was here and available to be in Christian's life, and more importantly, he wanted to be.

Chris pushed out a breath; he wasn't going to find all the answers in one night. Realizing how late it had gotten, he headed back to the apartment, running into Dov and Chloe as they all arrived at the same time.

"Thanks for finding another stuffed dog," Chris told Chloe as they stood outside the building. "He wouldn't fall asleep without it tonight. Loves that stupid thing."

She shrugged her shoulders sheepishly. "It was nothing, Chris. He had a rough day and I don't care what age we are, we all have our own security blankets...or stuffed dogs." She looked between the two friends briefly, before moving toward the door. "I'm gonna head in."

Dov nodded at his girlfriend before looking back at his friend. "What are you gonna do?"

Chris plopped himself down on one of the stairs leading up to the front door of the building. "I...I just don't know," he admitted as Dov joined him on the stairs. "He's mine, but he's not. It doesn't stop me from loving him."

"You don't love Denise though, do you?" Dov asked. He could tell his friend had been forcing it with her in the name of family.

Confirming Dov's suspicions, Chris shook his head. "We were over a long time ago. We're different people. But for Christian, I…"

"You were willing to do whatever needed to be done to make your son happy. I get it. But now...Chris, you need to do what's right for you," Dov suggested.

"I don't think I can ever forgive her," Chris admitted softly. "She turned my life upside down, turned Christian's upside down. I love him like my own, but I can't be with her anymore."

"Then don't. Come back to Toronto, come back to 15. We'll help you figure out a plan to stay in his life if that's what you want...but _your_ life is here," Dov said.

Chris gave his friend a small smile. "You make it sound so simple."

Dov pushed out a small chuckle. "It's not. I mean, until we figure out some new sleeping arrangements now that Gail's living here, you're stuck on the couch."

Chris laughed as he looked over at his friend. There was so much going on, but it felt good to laugh and he appreciated that his friend knew what he needed at this moment.

As they stood up, Chris pulled his friend into a brotherly hug. "Thanks, man. I'll be up in a minute," he said, nodding toward the front door. When the door closed behind Dov, Chris looked out into the night. His future wasn't much clearer than it was a few hours ago, but one thing was certain. He loved Christian and he would never let Denise's actions change that. He would find a way to be a part of Christian's life, no matter what.

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The End.


End file.
